Below is a simple diagnostic process you can run through to try to identify where or why they are stuck.
7 Coaching Principles that Keep Your Client Moving Forward
When your client is stuck, consider how they are engaging each of these seven central principles of coaching:
1. The client does the work
This is actually the number one rule of coaching. It’s not a matter of how great the coach is, but how invested the client is in doing the work. If the client isn’t doing the work, what’s going on? Is this something that is truly important to them? The value of coaching lies in the motivation of the client and their willingness to do the work. Without that, coaching will absolutely stall out.
2. Personal issues matter
Maybe your client truly does want to do the work, but they have some other issues in their lives that are getting in the way. They could be in need of counseling to address certain types of blockages—those related to emotions, trauma, relationships, or character. Counseling can help people address many types of issues that get in the way of effective coaching.
3. Ensure aligned goals
Sometimes clients will choose a goal that they feel they “should” have. Even though it may be a great goal, it’s not aligned with who God made them to be. Help them reflect on knowing themselves, their gifts, their passions, their abilities, their personalities. From there, they can experience the freedom of having permission to do what God has uniquely called them to do.
4. Prepare in advance
In some cases, the problem is as simple as the client not taking the time to prepare in advance for the session. If they don’t spend the time to think through what they want to address during the session, the coaching hour can feel scattered and unproductive. Assign a few basic prep questions in advance—and require written responses—to help your client get the most out of each coaching session.
5. Focus on one thing
If every time you talk with your client, they seem to want to discuss a different topic, focus is likely the issue. In some cases, a client may be dealing with ADHD, which would require a therapist or a doctor. But in other cases, they may just be getting overwhelmed, and flitting from one thing to the next in response. Talk with them about it to determine the root cause. Then, depending on what it is, maybe you can help by breaking things down into small manageable parts. Or ask them, “What’s the fewest number of things you need to do to get the result you would like to see?” And then tackle them one at a time in order to get some traction.
6. Be aware of seasons in your client’s life
Sometimes it’s just not the right time to focus on coaching goals. Do they have a family crisis? An aging parent to care for? Maybe it’s okay to put some of their other goals on hold for a while. When something else in life is going on, you can best serve your client by helping them determine what to focus on for this particular season.
7. Journey with others
We all need other people. The same is true of your clients. Consider their current support system: family, team, friends, co-workers, ministry context. To what degree are they going forward toward their goals alone? Maybe they need to spend some initial time making connections with others or gaining buy-in to help them move toward more effectively in the long run.
Coaching through the blockage
After you’ve considered the above principles, next plan your approach. Given where or why your client is stuck, how does that impact how you work with them? In most cases, it’s best to discuss your observations. “Here’s what I’m seeing….” Then, “This leads me to the conclusion that….” “Help me understand what’s going on.” They may come up with additional insights that you would never have thought of.
There are a variety of legitimate reasons clients get stuck, and often the first step is recognition of the blockage. Sometimes clients just need permission to be where they are. In other cases, they gain the insight to change their approach or behaviors. Either way, you’re coaching them effectively.
Resources
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