Most coaching clients are stuck in one way or another. Your job as coaches is to help them figure out how they can get unstuck. Your best methods are asking good questions, reflecting back what you are hearing, and drawing insights and direction out of the client. You follow their lead and help them overcome obstacles as they get unstuck. You provide perspective and help them brainstorm, plan, and follow through on action steps.
When Coaching Doesn’t Help
But what about when all of that just doesn’t seem to be working? What if their stuckness goes deeper? Sometimes we have clients who are emotionally wounded in ways that coaching just can’t reach. That’s when it’s time to refer to a therapist. But how do we know when that is?
Stay in the Coaching Lane
When you have done all of the following as a coach, and the client is still stuck, that’s when there might be something deeper going on—something that is better handled by a therapist than by a coach. Sometimes clients are stuck because they are wounded in ways that coaching isn’t the right tool for addressing. That’s when it’s time to stay in your lane—and refer the client to a therapist. Here are some signs it’s time.
It’s deeper than one situation
You’ve provided a safe space for them to process. You’ve listened, validated their feelings, and given them time to talk. Instead of moving on into problem solving, the topic grows. If you run out of coaching tools, it’s likely that your client needs to deal with past wounds. You will serve the client better by admitting that and referring them to someone who is trained to help.
Emotions consistently get in the way
You’ve helped them explore a conflict or friendly fire situation, but they just can’t seem to let go. Rather, they seem to spiral, keep repeating themselves, and get caught up in an internal narrative. If you see a pattern of hurt or a situation brings up past trauma, your client is wounded and a therapist is better equipped to help the client.
They have what they need to move forward, but don’t
Often, a coach can see that all the pieces are in place before the client can. If you’ve been asking forward-looking questions to help move them toward their vision, but they seem resistant to taking steps and moving forward. If everything points to readiness but the client still won’t take the leap, the next best step is to connect to someone who can help them understand their hesitance and address their internal struggle.
Personal struggles that you aren’t trained to help with
It is a red flag if your client confesses to challenges in areas like addiction, negative self-talk, out-of-control emotions, or intractable relationships. The priority is no longer their big vision but their health. The potential risks are too high, connect them with someone who is an expert in the appropriate field.
Resources
When you only meet with a client occassionaly, it can be hard to recognize when a client has a bigger issue. Keeping a consistent and orderly log of your time together and referring to it before each coaching session is a powerful tool that can help you discover unhealthy patterns. If you don’t already have a system, you can start by downloading this FREE Coaching Log HERE.
Cover Photo by Taras Makarenko
Photo by Nathan Cowley