December 22, 2021

Coaching for Rest
In our society today we tend to think of a busy schedule as a badge of honor. We rush from one activity or event to the next. We work long hours. We have family obligations. There is an ever-growing list of chores and errands in the back of our minds. We tend to wear busyness as a badge of honor but in reality it does more harm than good. As coaches, we can see when a client is struggling with busyness and can plant a seed for needed rest.

Written By Gary Reinecke

ICF Master Certified Coach, Resource Designer, Mission Strategist : InFocus

The Need for Rest

If you need proof that we all feel busy and are in need of rest, conduct this experiment: ask ten people how they are doing and just keep track of the responses. How many times out of 10 do you estimate you will receive an answer involving their crazy day or week? 60%? 70%? Most of the time, the answer I get goes something like this: “I’m so busy – but everything is good.” I would estimate that I hear that response at least 90% of the time.

Self Reflection Questions:

  • How would you answer that question: “How are you doing?”
  • Did you answer with some form of the answer above?
  • What is keeping you up late at night or waking you up in the middle of the night?

How did we get here?

But why are we so busy? Are we taking the time we need to rest, reflect and enjoy the present? Most of us push ourselves harder than we should; we say yes to too many things, we overstretch our time and energy. I put together this list of potential reasons we stretch ourselves beyond our capacity:

  • Unaware of our limitations
  • Addiction to busyness
  • Unwillingness to stop
  • Stress
  • Faithlessness

This final reason might require some explanation. Faithlessness is something that I struggle with. I like to keep my world under my control – or at least live with the illusion that I have control. When I am at my best, I sleep well. When I try to make things happen in my own strength, anxiety wakes me up in the middle of the night, worrying about things that are out of my control. What it really comes down to is that I am not trusting the Lord. I’m relying on my own ability to get things done, and not resting in the fact that the Lord is active in my life.

Where there is trust, there is rest

coaching for rest Holy yoga

Exodus 14:14 states, “The Lord will fight for you: you need only to be still.”

Here is the context for the verse:

But Moses told the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the LORD’s salvation, which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians you see today, you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.

You might be reading this right now and need to hear these words today. However, being told or encouraged to rest is one thing. Internalizing the need for a break and taking action is quite another. I encourage you to take some every day this week to rest.

Try both Passive and Active Rest:

 

Passive Rest includes:

  • Power naps: last 6-20 minutes in length
  • REM naps: 90-plus minutes.

Active Rest includes:

  • Physically: deep breathing, stretching
  • Meantally: meditate, gratitude, listen to soothing music
  • Socially: family, friends
  • Spiritually: prayer

Dr. A’s Habits of Health (pgs. 407-408) by Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen

One habit I have found helpful to put my mind at ease is physical activity. When I combine physical activity with meditation, my soul is fed and my body processes the stress that has built-up. An activity I’ve engaged in over the years is Holy Yoga. Did I lose you? Actually, my wife Gina is a certified instructor and has a platform that provides guided meditation throughout the practice. This has been life-giving during Covid. I look forward to my early morning practice on the back patio with the hillside as my backdrop. It gives me a chance to settle my heart and mind, focus on movement and meditate on the Lord’s goodness. It makes my devotional time in the morning more interesting than simply sitting and taking in scripture – it allows me to knead the Word into my soul.

5 Tips to Make Rest a Priority

  • Commit to 7.5-9 hours of sleep per night
  • Begin to wind-down about 30 minutes before going to bed
  • Take a health assessment with a health coach
  • Turn off all devices 1-3 hours before going to bed
  • Ask your spouse to support you or get on the same time schedule if possible

Coaching for Rest

It is one thing to tell a person that they need to get rest – it is quite another to help them discover it for themselves. Here are 7 coaching questions to help guide a person through their physical health journey:

  1. Describe “why” it is important for you to focus on getting adequate rest.
  2. How is your “why” is compelling?
  3. What does success in your rest look like?
  4. Identify your greatest challenges?
  5. What changes do you need to make to reach your goal?
  6. Who do you know that can help you on your journey?
  7. What is one simple thing you can do that will help you get started?

The 4th Commandment

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.”

What does the 4th Commandment teach you about work?

I finish with this response to the question above, taken from The Anglican Catechism:

“My work is a gift of God that can grant me provision and satisfaction, and serve the common good, but neither defines my life nor rules over it.”

Who or what defines you?

Reminder: Sign up for the Coaching Excellent Track 

The Coaching Excellence Track is continuing education for established coaches. If you have seen some success in your coaching relationships but are ready to up your game for greater results, this is the cohort you’ve been looking for! This unique combination of assessment, one-on-one coaching, and group webinars meets you where you are at and helps you develop a clear and personalized path for coach development. Click HERE for more information. Ready to save your spot? Register through Eventbrite.

Photo by Spencer Selover from Pexels

Cover Photo by Skitterphoto from Pexels

Not sure where your place is in ministry? Start here.

 What do you uniquely bring to the table? It might be different than it was a few years ago.

Considering a new ministry opportunity?

How many times have you heard leaders share that they are considering a “new ministry” opportunity? How to help with discernment surrounding transitions.

6 Steps to Responsible Money Management

Money is a touchy subject. But dreams need to be financed so it’s a topic that comes up regularly in coaching conversations. Here’s how to help your client’s align their finances with their goals.

Drop the tasks that are holding you back

Are you feeling like your wheels are spinning but you’re not going anywhere? It sure is hard to stay motivated when you aren’t seeing results. It’s time to examine and drop the tasks that are holding you back. 

6 reasons coaching is the best investment

Things are different now—and that make coaching more important than ever. Here are a few reasons why coaching may be your best investment in 2023. 

Sharpen Your Coaching Skills in 2023

If the last few years have taught you anything, it’s that adaptation is necessary and good. Finding the best ways to support people and teams in their personal and ministry development is an ongoing, life-long process. 

Are you running out of time?

You have so much you want to do but where can you find the time? Here are six things you can do to find the time to accomplish what you really want to do.

5 Principles for Empowered Small Groups

Are you struggling to find the right small group curriculum? There are a lot of great programs out there and you may have even tried some but if they just aren’t fitting your context or meeting your needs—what do you do then?

Coaching spiritual growth

There are ministries and even bible studies filled with Christians who can’t answer the question, “What is God doing in your life?” How can you help them jumpstart into renewed spiritual growth?

Coaching Groups that Grow Disciples

You see the same people at church doing the same things over and over again. They are faithful but they aren’t really becoming more like Jesus. How can you as a coach help Christians break out of a spiritual growth plateau?